Attack Of The 200 Foot Garet of Doom!
by Star Requiem
Summary: BWAHAHHAA! I'M ON A BLOOD SUGAR RUSH! BWAHAHAHA! R&R! BWAHAHAHA!


Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun! Golden Sun! Golden Sun! I do not own Golden Sun! Goldey   
  
Golden Sun Sun! Or Indiana Jones.  
  
Flame Angel: I'M ON A SUGAR RUSH!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Ivan: Oh dear God no...  
  
Garet: Now she's gonna tell everybody weird things...  
  
Flame Angel: Guess what? Guess what? Some Korean guy phoned my sister when she used to work at  
  
this place called Lumsden, and she didn't answer the phone in time, and the answering machine  
  
came on and the guy didn't know and he started talking Korean and then he farted and he was like:  
  
"OHHHHHHH LUMSDEN!" and then the machine went off! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Ivan: -_-;  
  
Garet: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S FUNNY!  
  
Flame Angel: And then when I go to this coffee place, a lady who works there, she looks like a  
  
turtle and has a funny voice, we order our teas 'Double Double with Milk and Creme' and she's all  
  
like: "Enda dooble-dooble with de milk enda dooble dooble with de cweme, bag in." AHAHAHAHA! IT'S  
  
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!  
  
Garet: HAHAHAHAHA! TURTLE LADY! AHAHAHAHA!  
  
Ivan: That's mean, making fun of people!  
  
Garet: AHAHAHA! SHUT UP! (pushes him down random staircase)  
  
Ivan: AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Garet: AHAHAHAHA!  
  
Flame Angel: (pushes him down stairs, he lands on top of Ivan, crushing him) AHAHAHHAA!  
  
ATTACK OF 200 FOOT TALL GARET OF DOOM!   
  
Well one day, the gang of Goldey Sunny people were lazing around at Isaac's house and then  
  
they got bored and baked cookies.   
  
" YAY COOKIES!" They all cheered. Well they were eating the cookies when Saturos and Menardi  
  
snuck in and sprinkled some grow stuff in Garet's cookie. Garet quickly ate the cookie and then   
  
said he didn't feel well.  
  
" Oh well, go to bed!" Jenna yelled at him.  
  
" Okay! YAY! BED!" Garet ran into the bedroom smacking his head off the cieling over hang by   
  
the door, " Ouch." He said rubbing his head and then closing the door.   
  
" That was random..." said Ivan.  
  
" No that was weird, Garet's tall but he can't hit the cieling with his head..." Isaac said   
  
suspiciously.  
  
Just then Garet came flying out the door, " Guys, I think somethings wrong!!!" He was about   
  
ten feet tall and this time took out the cieling he had earlier hit, " Ouch."  
  
" Um, yeah I would say just a *wee* bit wrong..." Mia suggested sarcastically.  
  
" What do I do? I'm really tall now!" Garet whined.  
  
" Fix the roof? You could reach..." Isaac said.  
  
" Guuuuuuuyssss!!"   
  
" Let's go see Kraden! He'll know what to do!" Felix said coming out of nowhere.  
  
" Ok!" they all agreed, and they were off, but not before Garet took out the doorframe.  
  
****  
  
Well, by the time they got to Kraden's Garet was waaaay to big to fit inside cause he's a   
  
sorry ass loser, so they all went inside without him.  
  
In the mean time Garet was bored. He looked to his left and saw a REALLY pretty flower.  
  
" I'm going to pick it for Jenna!" Garet said ecstatically, pulling the tree out of the   
  
ground.  
  
" Garet! We know what to do now!" Ivan said, as he flew out the door and smacked into a tree   
  
root, " What's this mess?"   
  
" Here Jenna! I picked this for you!" Garet said with the widest grin possible. He then   
  
handed the tree to her, which of course smushed her.  
  
" GARET YOU IDIOT!" Isaac yelled.   
  
" Shaddup!" Garet flicked Isaac flying.  
  
" GARET YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL!" Mia screeched at him.  
  
" I AM being careful!" Garet said, standing up, revealing that he had sat on an old man.  
  
" Watch where yer sittin' sunny!" The old man said and walked away with his cane.  
  
The group just blinked in confusion.  
  
" Heh Heh. Oops..." Garet said sheepishly.  
  
" Somebody get me outta here!" Jenna wailed. The only part of her that was sticking out was  
  
her head.   
  
" I'll help!" Garet said, pulling her out by her neck, prompty snapping it.  
  
" OOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Jenna cried, and started to bawl.  
  
" Don't cry Jenna!" Garet hugged Jenna, crushing her spinal cord.  
  
" GARET!" Isaac yelled at him, " Put her down before you kill her!"  
  
" Ok." Garet dropped Jenna. This time she broke every bone in her body, " Oops."  
  
" Jenna are you ok?!" Isaac cast Revive on her, bringing her back to life.  
  
" Uggh, did anyone get the liscense plate on that truck?" Jenna groaned.  
  
" Trucks haven't been invented yet and besi-" Ivan started, but Garet cut him off with some  
  
whining.  
  
" I'M HUNGRY!" Garet whined nearly shattering everyone's eardrums.  
  
" Uhh what do you feed your 200 foot tall best friend?" Isaac asked.  
  
" Hmmm, that looks good!" Garet said, gleefully picking Mia up and swallowing her whole.   
  
" Ok, we need to get that cure Kraden was talking about, and fast!" Ivan called, running   
  
with the rest of them.  
  
" Guy's wait up!" Garet stomped after them. All the villagers in Vale ran s creaming from the   
  
place and left for Vault or some place far away.  
  
Garet then decided that it was pointless to chase them so he made a big fire in the village.  
  
Unfortunately it quickly spread and burned the village down. He just shrugged and began roasting  
  
a bag of marshmallows he had found and saved from the fire. He then ate them, plastic bag and   
  
all. Then he took off after Isaac and the others, smushing deer, rabbits, birds, raccoons, and   
  
other cute adorable fuzzy animals. He got many splinters from the trees and things. Finally, he   
  
caught up to them.   
  
" GUUUUYSSS!" Garet yelled. He tromped after them.  
  
" AHHHH! IT'S THE MIA EATING PSYCHO! CANNIABAL! EVIL!" Ivan screamed like a girl, making a  
  
cross with his fingers.  
  
" What I'm not evil! I'm just hungry!" Garet then reached for what looked like a gummy bear   
  
but was actually a mauler. He then popped it into his mouth, chewed it and swallowed it. Red  
  
"juice" flowed out of his mouth.   
  
" MMMMMM! CHERRY FLAVOURED!" Garet then grabbed up Sheba, Felix and Picard and swallowed   
  
them whole. He then ran at Isaac, Jenna, and Ivan. Unfortunately he tripped and rolled after them  
  
in a ball.  
  
" RUNNN!" (Indiana Jones music please!) Isaac, Jenna, and Ivan all ran in slow motion from   
  
the rolling 200 foot tall Garet of Doom. Unfortunately as he rolled by them he gulped them down   
  
and rolled into a mountain, getting a concussion and knocking himself out.  
  
****  
  
Well, inside Garet was very dark and wet as they headed down his esophogas(spelling?). They   
  
were covered in slime and saliva as they then plopped into his stomach.   
  
Jenna then made a fire ball and lit up his stomach.   
  
Everyone was hanging onto some kind of white puffy things to keep out of the stomach acid,   
  
but it was quickly getting eaten away.   
  
" Everyone ok?" Isaac asked.   
  
" Yeah. These marshmallows work well as floatation devices!" Ivan said, hanging onto a   
  
marshmallow.   
  
" Yeah, but we gotta get out of here!" Mia said.  
  
" I know, one of us has to... Well... Get crapped out..." Isaac suggested looking down,  
  
When he looked, he saw all eyes were on him.   
  
" WHAT!? YOU GUYS WANT ME TO GO!?" Isaac exclaimed. Everyone nodded. " BUT I THOUGHT OF THE   
  
PLAN! ONE OF YOU HAS TO GO!"   
  
Everyone charged up some psynergy whilst looking at him.  
  
****  
  
Well walking through someone's digestive system wasn't exactly a marvelous adventure.   
  
Atleast he had Granite to put up a barrier and keep him dry.  
  
" This sucks. And smells." Isaac said, plugging his nose. Suddenly, a rumbling noise began.  
  
" What's going on!?" He yelled, but it was too late. A gas cloud of noxious fumes blew him   
  
out a hole as Garet farted him out.   
  
When Isaac woke up, he was inside a dark place. It still stunk, and there was a huge   
  
two-door door in front of him. It took a moment for Isaac to realise it was Garet's ass before  
  
he got out of Garet's underwear and scaled down his pant-leg using some of the loose threads in   
  
Garet's pants.  
  
Then Isaac was on land. He was wet, and he reeked of crap, but he was going to complete   
  
this. He was going to save his best friend, and the world from his best friend. He was gonna-  
  
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!  
  
Garet farted, and blew Isaac clear across the horizon.  
  
" Mum." Garet said in his sleep and sucked on his thumb.  
  
****  
  
" WHOOOOOOOOOA!!!" Isaac said as he landed in the village of Kibombo.  
  
" OOGA BOOGA!" said a villager.  
  
" Ok then!" Isaac said. Then he realised something. He was in the village that had the cure!  
  
He ran over to the witch-doctor hut thing.  
  
" Hey Mister Red-Bum-Afro! Can I have some Shrink Weed?" Isaac asked.  
  
" Yes child, hang on." the witch doctor ripped a fart, and walked into the back room.  
  
He came back and handed Isaac a rolled joint, " Here child. Weed for you."  
  
" Noooo! Not pot! The special stuff that shrinks people!" Isaac said, smoking it anyway.   
  
Mr. Red-Bum-Afro handed Isaac the shrink weed and Isaac ran out the door, skipping because   
  
he was high.   
  
****  
  
Isaac skipped all the way back to where Garet was. He then forgot what he was doing and took   
  
off to the bar. Even though he was under age, he got in, got hammered and then danced around   
  
waving his arms singing: " Do a little dance, Back down to Earth." over and over again.  
  
In the meantime, the others had already been evacuated from Garet's system. They then   
  
miraculously found Isaac in his singing and dancing mode.  
  
" ISAAC WHAT ARE YOU DOING! IS THIS WHERE YOU BEEN?!" Mia screeched.  
  
" No, no, no!" Isaac said, " Do a little dance, like this!" he danced around high and   
  
drunkenly.  
  
" I got farted out of Garet's bum, and then I got high... I landed at the witchdoctor thing,  
  
and then I got high... La da da da da da da... Now I'm dancing around at a bar, and I know why,  
  
YayHay! Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high. La da da da da da da! I was  
  
gonna shrink Garet, but then I got high. And then I headed to a bar, because I was high... La Da   
  
Da Da Da Da Da... And I forgot about you all, and I know why, YayHay! Because I'm so high,   
  
because I'm so high, because I'm so high. La da da da da da da- OOF!" Isaac finished his   
  
explanation song, and then got belted by Jenna. She then grabbed the beer bottle from his hand,  
  
smashed it over his head, and gave him a pile-driver. Then she and Mia kicked the crap out of   
  
him.   
  
Then when Isaac was magically sober they ran out of the bar and popped the weed into   
  
Garet's mouth. He then shrank really small and a dog came by and ate him.   
  
" Well, that was random." Ivan stated.   
  
" Isn't everything?" Isaac asked.  
  
" No." stated Picard.  
  
" Let's go home." said Sheba.  
  
And then they all went home and then there was no home so they all went to my house and we  
  
ate a chicken.   
  
The End.  
  
Flame Angel: BWAHAHAHAHA! LIKE IT?   
  
Ivan: I don't think anyone would like that- OOF!  
  
Flame Angel: (Smacks him over the head with a creamer shaped like a cow, which breaks) HAHAHHAHA!  
  
Feel sorry for the little creamer? That's because you're CRAZY!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Ivan: @_@  
  
Garet: I got eaten... :'(  
  
Flame Angel: Oh get over it.  
  
Garet: Ok. (holds up a sign that says: By the way, she doesn't own the song 'Because I Got High',  
  
or the Ikea commercial's idea) BYE! 


End file.
